if i could be a restaurant, i'd genuinely just want to be ihop. i know, i know - it's not the fanciest restaurant (or even the most upscale chain) out there, and the options aren't particularly extensive, and it's probably never been rated by zagat, but it's still pretty great. and you know what? i like to think ihop and i have a lot in common, such as:
#1. really, we're all about comfort. let's be honest: sometimes, all you need is comfort food and a restaurant experience that loves you for you. i just walked into an ihop in the afternoon in sweatpants and a t-shit, ordered a giant stack of blueberry pancakes (with the ihop original butter pecan maple syrup), and no one judged me. everything about ihop says low-key comfort, from the cheesy (but homey) interior design to the picture menu to the awesome chocolate milk made from real hershey's syrup. it's like waking up on a sunday at grandma's house, safe and warm and happy.
#2. we're honest, and we like food the way it's supposed to be: delicious. ihop doesn't pretend to serve health-conscious, fancy cuisine. they serve honest-to-goodness pancakes. fluffy, buttery, golden brown pancakes. with lots of butter, and whipped cream if you want it, and a side of grease. no lies, no pretenses, just yum.
#3. we believe that pancakes are best served... whenever you want them. ihop will serve me pancakes at 11pm. or 3pm. or 10am. why? because you can't schedule happiness, and ihop knows that.
#4. we're not about to blow cash on something that could be overrated. you know when you walk into a restaurant, and see that they've got some forty-dollar sushi platter, and you're like, "hmmmm...." and then you order it and it's good but not worth forty dollars? yep, that'll never happen at ihop. ihop will serve you seven dollar pancakes, and they'll be worth every single penny.
#5. sometimes, we like to be healthy. ihop offers options - if you're watching your waistline, you can get something on their simple and fit menu (which normally just means two pancakes instead of four, but hey!). sometimes, i like to convince myself i'm a healthy eater. when those days come around, i'd order off that simple and fit menu - no shame, because it's ihop - and eat to my skinny heart's content.
so there you go. ihop. me. i like to think we're both low-maintenence, honest, thrifty, diverse, and delicious. are we both fattys? yes, yes we are. but millions of people like us just the way we are.